So I’m A Turd…

I have my own quirky sense of humor that at times has failed to impress others….which generally cracks me up even more.

Confession:  A guy my daughter once dated wasn’t impressed with me though I left an impression.  To my credit, I did not maim him nor was he “found” anywhere so kudos to me for self restraint.   He was a terrible boyfriend and caught cheating.  Having broken my daughters heart, I felt it only fair to fork his yard.  He woke up to about 5000 plastic forks stuck in his tiny front yard.  Dare I say that I had much more fun placing them in the middle of the night  than he had removing them?  I also in no way concealed the fact that I was responsible in fact took a gentlemanly bow at the credit for such fine work.

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Some years ago, Clay and I purchased an old horse trailer online.  It belonged to a barrel racer and was a great price,  however, it was painted in bright baby blue and pink! It was like dragging an Easter egg around behind us.  We had our granddaughter with us and were taking our filly to pasture at my moms.

It was pouring rain and Clay wanted to stop at a convenience store and parked us along the front of the lot.  We certainly drew a great deal of attention with our trailer, everyone seemed to do a double take.  As I spied Clay emerging from the store and dashing through the rain, I reached over and locked the door.

When he tried to get in, I smiled sweetly and told him to start dancing.   The dawning realization that I wasn’t kidding was priceless. My grin broadened and our granddaughter squealed with delight chanting ” Dance PawPaw! Dance!.”   Oh, he was a fabulous specticle doing the Running Man and The Cabbage Patch, in the pouring rain with the entire parking lot watching and dying with laughter.

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Granted, it was a risky move on my part but I let him in.  If there’s one thing I can say about my husband, it’s that he has a riotous sense of humor and a complete child when it comes to fun.  He actually helped me fork ol dudes yard, took the kids to toilet paper a friends house, played flashlight hide & seek and once ran outside in the snow with nothing on but a strategically placed tube sock, at midnight to make naked snow angel’s with me in our yard on a dare.  He’s so much fun and there’s no predicting what mischief we might get into.

We’re older now, calmer, more adult these days so when he ran to the car during a veterinary visit not long ago, he was completely unexpecting that I’d lock him out….

Video evidence: Clay doing  the lockout dance.

30 comments

  1. You are too much. I think we would get along too well because I am the funniest person I know too! 😛💕. I’m just itching to see my kids again soon so I can find some new ways of tormenting them. 😛🤣

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  2. haha my hubz is the king of not locking me out of the car but he drives up casually to pick me up somewhere ( we both drive but when he is driving) then as I reach for the car door he inches the car up, I wanna scream sometimes lol

    we are both goofballs, its one thing I miss most about my personality since getting sick, my child like manner and energy, and as I age it isn’t coming back. Our one son is the biggest goofball, I’ve nick named him Jim Carey and at times I want to scream at him too….then I realize where he gets it from lol.

    in my 20s and my little brother in his mid teens, we would have full out water wars in my house, buckets and all and I laughed the entire time I had to clean it all up after…life’s to short to take it too seriously that’s for sure!

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  3. Sooo I didn’t know that forking a yard was a thing…and now I love it! How long did it take to do that? How many forks did you use? Omg I’m so intrigued!!!!

    Also: this sounds like the exact type of relationship I want to have if I ever get married!! So great

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    • Hahaha load up on the cheapest boxes of plastic forks. I think I got mine for about 50 cents a box so I loaded up. It did take awhile for bring some awesome friends with you….the extra hands and sheer laughter alone will get the job done fast. Another confession…..we brought our youngest 3 kids with us, two of which were our oldest daughters younger brothers who really wanted to throttle him. It was stellar, all dressed in dark clothing, leaping and sliding over cars, ducking and dodging when cars would drive by.. absolute miracle we hadn’t awakened the whole neighborhood with our antics and giggling!

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