Tools Of Hilarity

There’s no denying that husbands & wives as well as children and parents, can have very unique relationship characteristics and dynamics.  That’s certainly true in my family.  Whether with my husband or my mom, there’s plenty of hilarity between us.  OR, maybe, and I’m just throwing this out there…we may be a bunch of TOOLS!

Example #1  My Face

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Example #2. A Picture Is Worth…

While living on our horse ranch, spending most of my time alone save for the company of animals, I took up amusing myself by printing funny photos of my husband,, placing them into frames then tucking them on different tables and shelves.  I must say that even I, am impressed with my own level of patience in waiting for the day, sometimes months, before he would finally notice it with a startled WTH!  Proof of this would be my ” Elf On A Shelf”.

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I also have put this picture through a green filter and use it to replace this one when I feel he’s being a “Grinch”.

Example #3. FB post: Oh I’ll Getcha

I’ve come to expect it….the stink face followed by “Do you smell that? Must be in Texas!” Everytime we cross the state line. I also hear an ear load of ” Ugh! Texas drivers! ” , “Eck! Texans be like…”
(Imagining my face?) Ya. I’m from Texas, furthermore I cook, plate and serve all his food…..
There’s an old saying about God loving or watching over something (probably idiots who dont know better) and dumb animals, soooo….I just smile, weighing whether or not to pass this time or send him to the “pot” for a week and talk to Jesus about that later.  (Ex-Lax Chocolate Chunk Cookies)

Example #4  Texting with my Mom

Mom: ” Emmy (her little brown dog) is so funny, the way she sits straight up and starts looking back and forth. Lol”

Me: “haha she’s like a prairie dog. ”

Mom: “yeah, she’s like one of those dogs that live out in the Prairie….what are they called?”

Me: Um……prairie dog…..???

Example #5 Dining with Clay

Clay takes me to dinner at La Luna’s Mexican Cantina. Dinner is great then we order a Xango to share and a couple coffees. While eating we’re having a conversation about who is cooler, me or the chic from The Bangals.        My respone:  “Um. Hello! Me of course. Everyone knows me. You just had to asked what her darn name is!”
Lol
So he stands up and says “Let’s get out of here!”
I jump up and grab my purse.
He says “Wait! You haven’t finished your coffee.” (We hadn’t gotten the check either)
I’m like “Heck, if your dodging the ticket, Ima need my purse and apparently the coffees free anyway!”
We were in tears by the time the check came.

Example #6  The Dance

It’s true, I confess I do it…A LOT.  When Clay least expects it, I lock him out of places…at the gas station while filling up the car, outside restaurants,  conveniences stores and even the veterinarians office.  And I refuse to let him back inside until he dances!  This time I give you video proof.

 

Example #7  Lest you’ve forgotten “Sexting With Mom”

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My mom is in her 70’s now and not at all Techy so when it comes to social media and texting, you never know exactly what you’re gonna get.

There are few people in life that you are just so close with that you can almost communicate with without saying a word. My best friend through school, Sherry, and I are like that. We can merely gance at each other, bust out laughing, knowing exactly what the other is thinking.  My mom and I are a lot like that only it doesn’t always translate in writing.

I can be a tool I guess.  I can admit that.  I have a snarky, weird sense of humor and a bit of a poo poo head so when my mom sends a random text, I can’t resist tooling with her, thinking she’ll get my funny.  That must not always translate either…

My mom texting
This is a random statement out of nowhere from my mom.
Mom  “look at my babies”                                       (Um…)
I say  “Are you drunk and trying to show your boobs again?”
(This is hilarious because it’s random back at ya and mom would never be drunk etc)
Mom  “Did you get the pic?”                                   (Uh, nope, nothing?)
Me  “No sexting mom!”                                            (Surely she gets that I’m playing with her now, right?)
Mom  “My kitten… I’ll post it on FB.”                     (She’s making this too easy)
Me  “You’ll get banned. They don’t allow those kinds of pics on FB. Keep your “kitten” to yourself!”
(It was seriously like throwing an air ball…nothing but wind.)
Mom  “I put it on FB. I think you’re drunk.”

Example #8: Another hilarious family FB conversation:

My sister in law makes family photos into her Christmas cards. My son posted a picture of the card he had received from her so I commented:
Me: Wait! Where’s mine?
Sister: lol it should be arriving any day.
Me : Yay!!!!! I love your faces!
Son: lol That’s NOT creepy! lmbo
Me: you don’t remember when you guys were little that I’d tell you ” I love your face?”
Son: yes. But then I watched “Silence of the Lambs”
Hahahaha

I may be a tool, guys but remember, life is life.  We never know what it may throw at us. May as well learn to roll with it and find the humor in the the everyday.  Laugh Big and often!

17 comments

  1. Cracking up!! Let me say it again, I wish you were my neigjbor! We would have a riot for I totally agree, laugh hard and often!!
    Part of the reason that it was so much fun writing “The Odessa Chronicles” 😃

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      • LOL! A true thought. Reminds me of what me and my bestie say. We hould have been sisters but our parents wouldn’t have been able to handle it! 🙂
        I remembered how your grandson got a copy of “The Odessa Chronicles ” did he enjoy it? If not, its OK, I know everyone has different tastes. I was just curious if he recited parts of it like you said he does with books sometimes. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh yes he loves it and can recite me the stories. He’s a voracious reade. Although they dont belief true photographic memory exists and eidetic memory only la ssd’s it’s a few seconds….he on the other hand recites full books and has since before he could even read..real books not picture books, although he is on the spectrum for autistism. He also has complete recall of movies.

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      • Tell him I said Hi and that I am so glad he enjoys the stories! If you don’t mind me asking, if you could do a review on Amazon that would be great! Trying to market a book when me and my co-author aren’t famous household names, can be hard! Reviews is one way that really helps. 🙂 Have a great day!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I am laughing so hard right now. Thank goodness for the joy of laughter and the chance to laugh at ourselves (at least when our spouses aren’t there to be laughed at.) 😎

    Liked by 1 person

  3. True LOL at #4. #7 might be the weakest Running Man ever… but still better than me!! #1… sorry… but that’s the definition of a Puma, not a Mtn Lion. (Cougars are 35+; Pumas are something like 50+)

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