The Man Purse Incident

If you’ve read my post “Marriage: Mystery Solved” you’ll get this.

My husband Clay and I go on and on about “MY” purse.   I say it’s his as it has more of his junk in it than my own.  Example: we go out to eat, he asks me for his reading glasses.  Where are mine?  At home! I can’t fit both in “my” purse!

He says I can use his, but they’re sooo big they just flop all over my face!   He claims it’s because I have a tiny baby head.  Ok, so yea, I do have to buy hats in the kids department but I say “OK, Smarty Pants, little head = All brain, big HEAD… (echo) HEAd…HEad…head…”    *smirk*                         

 I actually got Clay to carry a “satchel” once.   (He calls it Satchel.   It’s a M-urse…a man purse.)   We were taking 2 of our teenagers to Bricktown in Oklahoma City.  He  Serendipitously wore a “Salmon” polo, (Again, potAto /  potato.  It was pink.) and his new khaki M-urse.                                              

As we’re exiting the truck, I say ” Hey, you can carry my stuff for a change!”   Bless his heart, he not only agreed but was delighted to do so, so I dropped my pink bejeweled phone into his bag.                                                                             Screenshot_20180311-205606-01       

We walked up and down the busy street, popping into the shops along the way.  We were right in the middle of a particular boutique when my phone started ringing.   It was our eldest daughter calling.  Clay started a frantic clamour to retrieve my phone from the bottom of his M’urse.                  

Our teenagers scattered like rats, abandoning a ship and I’m  bent over hee hawing like a jackass, as my husband, in pink polo, whips out pink bejeweled phone, with daughters ringtone screaming, “Get, Get, Get It Girl”  from his M’urse!                     Khaki M’urse never seen again.                                               

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©Laura M. Bailey, All the shoes I wear & writing down the Bones, 1990–Present. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Laura M. Bailey with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

32 comments

  1. I don’t know why but it really bugs me when others in my family assume that I am okay about carrying their stuff in my bag (purse). Other half always gives me his water bottle – it’s heavy, rug and have to carry it plus my water bottle. And so on. So if I don’t want to carry his crap around I don’t bring my bag, but then I don’t get to bring my stuff. He doesn’t get it. 😡

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OH! I almost forgot.

    Down here it’s only the female kangaroos that have pouches.. i guess if God wanted men to have a purse he’d have fitted them with a pouch! 😉

    And you can tell Clay that one! 😀

    Like

  3. This cracked me up – poor guy!

    Have you tried to get Clay into wearing Cargo Pants – with BIG Deep pockets??

    That should leave you plenty of room for your glasses. If i take my phone and my pen out of my man-size wallet i can just about fit mine in without breaking them ( so far) 😉

    Liked by 2 people

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