Spoken Above The Cup

Throughout my life, the most intimate, personal, heartbreaking, and hilarious  conversations with friends haven’t been spoken over cocktails but rather in the kitchen over coffee.  Like coffee into the cup, we pour out our hearts, offering each other the warmth of friendship and moments of our lives.  Allow me friends to offer you a cup of me.

I remember that time that you told me, you said
“Love is touching souls”
Surely you touched mine ’cause
Part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time

Oh you are in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter
And so sweet oh
I could drink a case of you darling

-Joni Mitchell 

When you come to my table, I long for your feeling of warm welcome so no ordinary coffee would do.  This is an occasion for the kettle to simmer on the stove for ready refills of the French Press.  I would offer an array of sweeteners, vanilla or cinnamon flavored sugars or fat chunks of Madeira and pitcher filled with real cream….a coffee as rich as the affection between us.

Because I would not have you peckish, I’d have prepared for that ahead and let’s be honest, what is coffee without a pastry?  Madness!  For this particular morning, I’d prepare a chocolate croissant.  Fresh from the oven, I’d  serve this buttery pastry with melted chocolate nestled within it’s flaky folds.

Let’s talk awhile….

Time: childhood seemed to idle along.  Holidays ever seemed so far away and  the rush to adulthood took  forever!  Reaching it though, I soon realized it was a trap and though I wished to take it back, that door was forever closed.  If I knew then what I know now, I’d urge that little girl to slow down and savor those days….but what child ever listens to a grown up?  I would’ve ran all the faster.

At 18, time shifted into second gear.  While caught up in the moments of my life, I nearly missed it.  It wasn’t until my first child reached graduation that I happened to glance over the shoulder of my life and glimpsed how quickly it had flown…time had shifted into 3rd.

But, with grandchildren, I am acutely aware of 4th gear of time revving at remarkable speed!  It’s as though it were yesterday that I held my first grandchild in my arms for the first time.  Today I have 7 grandchildren and that first tiny bundle has turned 13!  A moment ago, I became a grandmother for the first time, now suddenly I’m nearing the window of becoming a great grandmother!  The only consolation I can think of is that when that happens, my parents will be great great grandparents and they’ll like the sound of that even less!  Haha

At once, I face with trepidation the shift to overdrive, winding to the end of me and yet so grateful that time has allowed me to see so many markers of the lives I love.

Do you remember when I told you my son (first born)  had developed tumors?  The specialist confirmed they were tumors and opted for removal instead of biopsy.  It’s a process of hurry up and wait.  The tediousness of waiting for scheduled tests to surgery date to pathology results, is spent encouraging one another and for me, focusing on taking one breath after the other.

At last, the awaited call came in and I rigidly held my breath at the hesitation in his voice.  “Well….looks like it’s chemo for me, mom.”  I think I yelled “OMG!” between gasping for air.  At the sound of my voice, he immediately yelled back “I’M KIDDING MOM! I’M SO SORRY! I’M KIDDING!”  I heard him but I was in the throes of uncontrollable emotion!  The dam of my reserve, burst and I was overwhelmed  by the flood.

I could not stop crying nor gasping for breath.  Barely able to complete our conversation, he actually says to me, “I’m so sorry mom.  I guess I know I’m loved though, lol.”  Luckily for him, he was safely in another state though I wished he could’ve seen the enormity of my eye roll.  I cried after we hung up for probably 30 more minutes, just letting the months of worry and gut wrenching fear pour out of me then chuckled to myself.  After all, I raised a real turd, just like me.

I love you dear friends and am so grateful for the time we spend together.  Do tell me, what’s been going on with you?

 

Easy Chocolate Croissants

1 pkg Puff Pastry

Melted butter

Chocolate chips

Preheat oven to package directions.  Roll out dough.  Cut each section into 4th, making 4 rectangles.  Cut the rectangles diagonally, making a triangular shape.  Brush with melted butter, sprinkle with chocolate chips then roll from the wide side to the point.  Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.  Brush with butter and bake according to pkg. Remove to platter and dust with powdered sugar. Enjoy!