Hearts Of Stone

I’ve been seeing this posted on social media from time to time and usually by those that I know to be christian believers and finally decided to respond…


This is not forgiveness!!!!

We must truly forgive in the same way we desire God to forgive us, by the same measure lest this statement be applied to us by Him.  God forbid!

While we do not have to allow others to continue misusing or abusing us, we can forgive them earnestly, pray for them, love them from a distance, free God to work on them, in their lives, in His way and in His time.

Forgiveness changes us, not them.  It changes our hearts to reflect His, it heals us and releases us from the burden of our pain and anger.  It also unbinds His hands to work in their lives, change their hearts.  And, when He does, we must not reject reconciliation but embrace them again.  Our God is a God of reconciliation isn’t He?

Our unforgiveness doesn’t only bind them… it binds us, doesn’t it?  It stalls our blessings, our healing, ability to move forward and worst of all, it hardens our hearts.  When I think of a hardened heart, I see it like a hand balled up into a fist.  It is hard and impenetrable.


While it acts as a shield, not allowing harmful things to enter, it equally keeps out the gifts that God wishes to give us.  You cannot place a gift into a closed hand nor can a close hand recieve it.  Similarly, a heart of flesh is like an extended palm, soft to the touch yet rests upon a strong foundation, open and is ready to recieve.


Deep down in our heart of hearts, the heart of us that only He can know, we do not want revenge or harm to others who harm us.  That is our emotions from a bitter place of hurt.  We wish they were…different from how they are that causes them to harm us…we wish them changed.  Maybe, they need healing too?

BUT, only He can do that and He can more efficiently when we aren’t running interference and when we release them from our unforgiveness. If that makes sense?

Whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven….
Forgive that you may be forgiven….
Pray for those who mistreat you….
How many times must we forgive…70 ×7…..
Forgiveness may not be easy, BUT it is divine.






  1. I think people sometimes misunderstand that forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing someone who has wronged you to do the same thing to you again. It means you forgave them for that issue and that there’s a line drawn and it doesn’t need revisiting.
    The young man who forgave the woman who shot his brother when she entered the wrong apartment is a prime example. He forgave her, showed her love and wished her well. He didn’t push another sibling forward and say “here, shoot this one too”!
    He accepted that she was repentant and forgave. That was absolute grace.


  2. Forgiving can be hard when our heart is trying to protect us from being hurt again. However, if can make the decision we will eventually discover that the process of forgiving has actually healed us. It sounds counter-intuitive … and yet it is true 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is so true! Somethings are so heinous that everything in us rebels against it but….it is for our own good, our healing and to protect us from others hurtfulness or plain evil, from destroying the goodness in us.
      It is also a reminder of His sovereignty, glory, exhaltedness…that He alone is God, that He alone is judge, worthy to judge, will judge and He alone may repay. I believe I’d fear that oh so much more than the judgement of men.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You have a healthy (and Godly) perspective on forgiveness, and I appreciated reading it! God does command us to forgive, and, as you say, it’s more for our blessing than the one we forgive. Forgiveness can be received or not by the other person, but once we forgive, we are in right standing with God.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I guess I do not see it the same way. If God required us to forgive, he would have made it a commandment. He did not. God did not always forgive. Ask the Egyptians. Sometimes, lessons need to be taught the hard way.


    • I suppose it would depend on which side of the cross you’re standing. The example you’re giving is of God’s judgement, His right, and what is His and His alone. We are not to and are not worthy of usurping that nor sitting upon the judgement seat nor mistaking ourselves as God. But his words are a commandment to us, what He expects of us as the creation…(not the creator).
      On the Christ side of the cross, we are clearly told….
      Eph. 4:32, 
      Col. 3:13
      Matt. 18:21-22
      lords prayer
      Matt. 6:12
      Matthew 6:14-15.
      “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark 11:25). “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven” (Luke 6:37).
      (1 John 4:9-10). Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
      Prior to Christs (side) sacrifice is where the Egyptians stood and yet, the occuring ” lesson” was not by our judgement, as we are not worthy to judge. It was by God’s own direct judgement of them. God alone and being God only, is righteous enough to be the judge, not us.
      The afore mentioned scriptures clearly points to Gods notice of hypocrisy in asking to be forgiven while not forgiving others and His direct correlation between the two.


    • P.S. I do hope you understand that I spoke those things in my comment to you with the utmost respect for you and with a sincere love toward you.
      I too have suffered many hurts, am wounded and bear many scars. Forgiveness was in no wise easy, nor was it a quick lesson for me to learn or embrace. Those who’ve darn near destroyed me, did not deserve such grace. But I know I too am unworthy before God for His. It took much work for Gid to bring me past my own rebellion to know that forgiveness was for me, my wellbeing, my healing, my good…He was loving me.


  5. Eloquently put! When I screwed up as a teacher (none of us are perfect), I used to think, “What is the right thing to do now?” You can teach your student(s) something by taking responsibility, apologizing, and showing sincere regret.

    Liked by 2 people

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